family movie night

the basement of our new home is still a work in progress. it has walls and paint but not much more. no carpet, no ceiling, and hardly any furniture. the family room (ie: tv room) is downstairs which is really not a big deal considering that we rarely watch tv. but in the event that we have a movie to watch from netflix, it is somewhat of a squash for the 5 of us to sit on the one couch. but this weekend i found it a real blessing.

first, can i tell you that teens are a challenge? maybe you have parented teens and are thinking, "you're not telling me anything i didn't know!" haha. but lately i have found myself at odds with my teen and it can become quite emotional. well, we had one of those moments the other day and i was left feeling like the parenting failure. i know i handled it badly, even though i was confident i was right about the issue. i felt a wall growing up between us a result and i worried that i was losing touch with him. but a little time passed and tempers calmed and a little red envelope came in the mail. it was time for the family movie.

so down we clamor for the best position on the couch. we are watching "murder on the orient express". during the movie i feel my boy leaning on me...i know he can't really help it on that crowded couch. but still, the closeness and comfort of it are soothing to my hurting heart. and then he reaches out and holds my hand. just for a minute. do you know how long it has been since that hand reached out for mine? well, i can tell you the last time it was much much smaller. on the screen the orient express chugged through frozen ground and into a snow drift, while my heart was warmed by the touch of a hand that said, "i still love you."

everyday gift: the touch of a hand

am empty nest

mr. and mrs. robin have an empty nest.

their hatchlings are now fledglings. i've been watching them from the front porch, the chicks leaving the nest and trying out their wings. newly found freedom! one lands clumsily on the ground and peeps for his mama, who lands not far away than flies to a nearby tree and calls. he is wary of me circling him with my camera so he takes off and flies to a pine tree, near his nest, looking for safety. meanwhile, mama and papa are hovering and watching anxiously, trying to keep track of all four of their babies. i am sure it must be nerve wracking...

although i have years to go before i experience an empty nest, i am feeling the growing pains of a teenager trying out his wings! he has informed me that he no longer needs me to tell him "lights out" at night (my night owl, pushing the boundaries and staying up well past midnight!), he doesn't see the need for his parents to supervise his activities, oh and, by the way, did we know that farm kids can get a permit to get a driver's license early?

i liked it better when he didn't challenge me so much.

but isn't the whole idea of parenting to give them wings and independence?

Train a child in the way he should go,

and when he is old he will not turn from it.

Proverbs 22:6

.

he should go. when the time comes, he should go. and with God's help, we will have shown him the right path, following God's plan for his life. so i will try to have patience with my boy as he tries out his wings. at times he might land clumsily, but i will hover nearby and show him the safety of the tree, until he is ready fly away...

look mom! i can fly!

everyday gift: giving them wings and learning to let go

a father's gift

since father's day a few days ago, i have been thinking about all mark does for our kids as their dad. on sunday we honored him and thanked him with father's day gifts: cinnamon rolls for breakfast, a homemade card, a funny booklet about dads, a shirt, his favorite meal of bratwurst on the grill.

but today i am thinking not about father's day gifts, but of a father's gift. last night after the younger kids were in bed, and my own eyes were closing on my book, i overheard mark in the kitchen with C. over the clinking of spoons in the ice cream bowls, i heard C asking questions about the sunday sermon from the book of james. i heard the rustle of bible pages turning from the new testament to proverbs. i heard my son wrestling with the big questions of faith and works, of consequences of sin, and a christian response to this world. and i heard a father engage his son with wisdom, patience, and love.

this morning as i start the coffee in the kitchen, i see sticky ice cream bowls left on the table, C's bible, and sermon notes in his own scratchy handwriting. and i smile. what a beautiful sight. i guess i will not scold about the dirty dishes left out or the handwriting that needs improvement. instead i am praising God that mark has established such wonderful lines of communication with his children and he is not afraid of their hard questions.

everyday gift: late night talks at the kitchen table with dad

courage

today i had the privilege of visiting a young woman in the hospital who just gave birth to a beautiful baby boy. it is a joyful occasion, mother and baby are healthy. but there is also a touch of melancholy in the air...you see, she is a single mother and has made an adoption plan for her baby. what a courageous and selfless choice she has made; to give her baby a family complete with a mother and a father. her first action as a parent has proven she is an incredible mother, willing to set aside her own desires and emotions in order to give her baby the best life she can.

everyday gift: self-sacrificing love

beautiful weeds

thank you, sweet pea! they are beautiful...and so are you!

everyday gift: a fistful of weeds, picked with love

music to my ears

i am trying to document these days and events of my life but they are so fleet. they disappear as quickly as they come like the notes from the piano. they ring loud and clear and linger in my mind, but then they are gone. sometimes the tempo is so fast, i have trouble hearing each individual note. sometimes a wrong note is played and it gives me a jolt. sometimes the music is soothing and i never want it to end, this music that is my life.

i have watched these three struggle over these notes, play them again and again, and finally master them! and on this night they are on display, nerves making them jumpy, wondering if they will make a mistake. they are filling our home with music, the music of their love and laughter and life...oh, and the piano, too! i am praising God for the music of our lives and praying that He will be glorified in all that we do.

B playing Owl in the Night by rollin and Oh Susannah (folk song)

S playing Go Tell Aunt Rody (folk song) and Brown Bag Boogie by kowalchyk/lancaster

C at the piano playing Changing Trains by cooper and Jungle Fever by rollin

B with her piano teacher

everyday gift: the music of our lives

determination

last night was the last of C's track meets. i would like to say that watching C put his heart into his running was a real joy for me. since his school is so small, they weren't always competitive with the larger schools, but this did not discourage him. often times they had to run 4th graders in the 5/6th grade class in order to have enough runners. during these relays C would get the baton already quite behind, running his best to the end, sometimes closing the gap, but not winning. he ran the mile race finishing 4th sometimes 5th, but he was pleased that with each race he bettered his time.

i am so pleased with the mature attitude and good sportsmanship C displayed, where winning was not as important as doing your best and finishing the race. that makes him the real winner in my book. great job, C! i am proud of you!

I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus is calling us. phillipians 3:14

*update: with all the numbers in, MSA pulled off second place over all out of 8 competing schools! way to go MSA!

everyday gift: finishing the race strong

something i never thought i'd hear...

C & S: mom, will you show us how to work the washing machine? we need this sweatshirt and jeans for tomorrow.

they had to break out the smelling salts to revive me! this question comes from my boys who are happy to wear the same shirt for 5 days straight until i finally catch a whiff of them and peel their shirts off their backs under protest.

perhaps being really far behind on laundry is actually paying off.

thank goodness for corelle

yesterday i was enjoying my morning coffee as i watched the news. the boys were rushing through their chores including emptying the dishwasher. all of a sudden i heard the terrible clatter and crash of dishes hitting the floor, the lingering spin of a plate until it finally came to rest, and then a moment of silence which was broken by C reciting the motto printed on the back of our dishes, "break and chip resistant!" *~*muffled laughter*~*

boy, are they lucky.

everyday gift: break resistant dishes

"sorry"

it had been a tough morning for B, bickering with her brother, being hurried out the door by me. this is never a good combination: B - irritable, hurt, and frustrated and me - in a hurry and impatient. the more i hurry B, the slower she begins to move and the higher pitched her whining becomes, refusing to put on her shoes and get in the van. (i will spare you any further ugly details.)

later, when things had calmed, i meted out the consequences for her disobedience with assurances of my love. she accepted this solemnly and silently. marching upstairs to be banished from the family in her room for a time, plus an extra chore to complete.

oh, my dear sweet emotional girl. how she sends me for a loop with her unpredictable moods, swinging from out of control outrage to ecstatic happiness and extravagant showers of love. she feels things so strongly and wears her heart on her sleeve. "Lord, how will i guide this precious one? how can i help her control her temper when i can't always control mine? how can i tame her fierce emotions?"

as i am getting ready for bed that night, i see a blue card propped next to my bed. in flowery embellished letters the word, "Sorry." a tear springs to my eye as i turn the card over and read,

"Dear Mom, I love you! I am sorry for what trouble i hav been. love, B~"

i go upstairs to tell her i have found her note. she lifts her groggy head from the pillow to kiss me good night again. i tell her thank you for the note. i have already forgiven her and i love her! she smiles and lays her head back on the pillow.

everyday gift: a love note

slaying giants

the past 5 days have been mentally exhausting. i do not have the strength to put into words all the details, nor do i want to. but i will only post that the Lord is my Rock and he is at work. we have not reached the other side yet, but even in the midst, I see everyday gifts that God is pouring into our lives...

...a strong of sense of unity with mark

...a hug from C as he tells me thanks for helping him

...watching painful but productive lessons develop character in an emerging young man

...pride welling up in me as i consider the incredible courage and self-control C has shown during all of this

a milestone

last thursday night S crossed the bridge. it was a simple ceremony. boys who have spent the past 5 years camping with dads, learning how to handle a pocket knife safely, singing Christmas carols at the nursing home, selling popcorn, racing pinewood derby cars, pledging to the American flag, collecting canned goods for the local food pantry, earning badges, shooting archery at day camp, tussling and rough-housing and, in general, goofing around...solemnly crossed over the bridge greeted on the other side by the older boy scouts. a milestone in my son's life. in boy scouts more will be expected; more challenging activities and skills will be learned; more independence; more responsibility required. he eagerly accepts this next step without hesitation, while i look on with a mother's pride. part of me wants to scoop him up in my arms and travel back to a time when he clung to my legs, timidly peeking at the world. but instead i watch him embrace his ever widening world.

it is hard to believe, but my boys are growing up.

S with his framed cub scout awards, and his proud parents!

receiving the red epaulets from his brother, signifying his new status as boy scout

burning his name in the bridge

(you must have cookies!)

everyday gift: boys on the way to becoming young men!

Snowflake Bentley ~ by jacqueline briggs martin

we had a snow day yesterday! so, naturally, i had to break out all of our favorite snow books. and the one at the top of the list: Snowflake Bentley. i love this story of wilson bentley's life and his passion for snowflakes!
i love how his parents spent their savings to buy him a special camera fixed with a microscope, costing as much as ten head of cattle, quite an amazing thing in his day. but as impressive as that piece of equipment was, i am most amazed at the love shown by his parents. it must have been difficult for his father, a practical hard-working farmer, to understand his son's interest (obsession) in snow! but he loved him enough to recognize his passion and give him support and encouragement. imagine the love that that gift spoke and the confidence a 17 year old boy would gain by that kind of support. may i learn this lesson and give the same kind of encouragement to my children. may i recognize their gifts, talents, and passions and help them along the path God has in store for them.
i am also impressed by the perseverence that wilson bentley showed as he tried again and again to photograph those elusive and fleeting snowflakes. this is a wonderful example of what can be accomplished by not giving up.

i love the unique beauty in each crystal. the obvious lesson of the snowflake is, of course, that no two are alike, each has its own unique design, just like every child of God.

everyday gift: snowflakes and snow days

sweet solitude...maybe not tonight

i hear the shower turn off and B's voice singing a funny tune as she gets ready for bed. C is busy doing his homework. S has his nose in a hardy boy mystery and M is doing some work on the computer. the dishwasher is humming. now's my chance! i steal away to the bedroom, put on my flannel jammies, and climb into bed with my book. after a day filled with non-stop activity, i love to finally have some time to myself...

but in walks B with a stack of library books about the solar system. "aren't you supposed to be on your own bed for reading?" "oh, mommy. your bed is so much cozier than mine!...did you know that pluto is not a planet anymore?... i can say the planets in order...My Very Educated Mother Just Served Us Nine Pancakes...but pancakes doesn't count anymore...if the planets had an election i would vote for neptune...or maybe saturn..." "ummm, B, if you're going to read, you have to stop talking!"

M finds his way into the bedroom. "what time is sunrise? ...windchill factor tomorrow...deer hunting...plummeting temperatures...AND plummeting stock prices...."

now C..."our class is staging the lincoln douglas debates and i've been elected lincoln...do you know where i can find a black top hat?...don't forget i'm going to the birthday party tomorrow night...when can we shop for a present?..."

S realizes he is missing out and joins the party. "room for me to snuggle?...oh and mom, i need to go to the library tomorrow, i finished my last book..."

oh, i am tempted to shut my door to the chatter, to the demands already filling up my tomorrow, but look what i would be missing. and i remember my resolve for the year, just listen. someday they will be too busy to talk about their day with their mom on the bed and then i would regret missing out on those moments.

maybe we should invest in a king sized bed.

everyday gift: daily chatter on the bed

boys and robots

C and S were upstairs in their room with a couple of friends building and programing their mindstorm robots. i was hearing the normal bumps and thuds followed by hooting, hollering, and peals of laughter. then i saw C dashing upstairs carrying his tool box. so, i, being an astute mother, inquired as to what his intent was! he replied without slowing, "oh, don't worry, mom! we only need this for extra weight on the ramp."

don't worry?! RAMP?!

that is supposed to reassure me?

everyday gift: boys being boys

brothers

i hollered up the stairs, "stop that arguing! and no, i don't want to know what happened! can't you boys just, please, work it out?"

as i walked away i shot up a prayer, "Lord, what am i going to do with those boys? where have we gone wrong? give me patience and wisdom."

isn't there some biblical example i can cram into their heads...errr, i mean, teach them during devotions? let's see...cain and abel? no, that ended badly. jacob and esau? no, constantly competing for the birthright, feuding for years. joseph and his brothers? no, i can totally understand that selling into slavery thing. don't' want to give them any ideas. ahhh, what about james and john? two brothers working side by side on the fishing boat. hearing the call of Jesus from the shore to follow him and they drop their nets and follow, together. even after the crucifixion when they went back to fishing, they stuck together. through thick and thin. and answered the call a second time after Jesus arose. "Lord, make them like james and john...following together after You.....and i promise i won't be like their mother, asking for thrones for her boys to your right and left!"

later, i overheard one taking responsibility for his part in the dispute and asking forgiveness. the other granting it with a hasty, "i'm sorry, too." yes, my peacemaker and a brother overcoming his tendency to hold a grudge. maybe there is hope.

everyday gift: forgiveness granted and brothers restored